Country of Origin: Malaysia
Malaysian Malice? More like Malignance.
Consumption
Much like the Nazi ideology, this ‘white’ curry is all show and little substance. From the massive size of the flavour sachets, I was expecting much from this curry – bold flavours, lots of heat, massive regret. In reality there wasn’t much to this. While still an adequately tasty broth, it certainly lacked the punch you would expect from a Malay curry dish and doesn’t even really register on a seasoned spicy meter.
The noodles were a little disappointing as they failed to hold up to the white power soaking over time, and tended to crumble in the mouth to a fine mush as I continued to eat.
All in all I was quite ‘meh’ about this dish – I would eat it over certain other dishes (looking at you, Maggi) but I wouldn’t go out of my way for it.
Heat Level
Taste Level
The Aftermath
I wasn’t expecting too much of a blitzkreig after the low heat of the dish, but I was surprised in the end. Around 7pm that night I got the rumbling of a holocaust on the horizon. Jumping onto my trusty porcelain steed, I proceeded to invade the toilet with the nagging fear that as the water to my suburb was shut off for the night, I may find myself in the position of having overextended myself past supply lines something something Russia in winter. However, I managed to pull through with a single flush, albeit after some time putsching.
4 flames, will take a while to get to a final solution.
For the amount of sambal that was provided with these I was expecting more heat; its hardly present. Yes it does taste like a curry, but a very mild (and underseasoned) one. The noodles suffer from the same problem that Mama’s Tom Yum did; crumbly in texture and not really that appealing. The broth was very oily; felt like I was slurping down a bowl of grease. Don’t get me wrong, these taste alright. There are just too many variables that keep these well and truly average. Let’s see how we go with the regret.
In terms of regret; I was already feeling little stabs of pain a few hours after. No urgency or rushing until about 6pm when I bolted for the lavatory and had what can only be described as a mini explosion. No sting, watery spurts, same color going out as it came in (bet you can’t look at that photo now!). Great. Definitely required the toilet brush.The rest of the evening was just occasional stomach cramps and bouts of stinky gas. No more poops though. No real sting. I have to give this a 4 I think.
4 flames; much gas and a watery white curry expulsion.
Hmmmm, I’m not mad about these noodles. Quick insight, working in a call centre and trying to eat these noodles between calls was less than ideal; 50% of this dish for me was eaten cold. In saying that, I found these to be pretty tasty noodles if not just simply lacking in heat and depth. I might also add, that after eating these noodles, my girlfriend said my breath was rank (keep in mind if you’ve got a hot date). Overall, I wouldn’t say the best noodles I’ve eaten but not the worst.
The poops after ramen at the moment are a trying time. I am in the midst of house hunting and I must admit there is a little fear with each ramen dish that I will have to discreetly shit in some random house while a real estate agent looks on with disapproval. This hasn’t yet occurred; it is just a fear in the back of my mind. I got home and was able to sit tight. Nothing, just my usual hang around the house and watch movies; no urge to run off to the toilet. I even managed to sleep through the urges! What about he morning after? None too bad, it wasn’t my normal movement – it was a little more liquidy – but it also made my morning movement a lot more efficient. I appreciated that.
2 Flames; it was liquidy and gross but taking points off for making me early for work.
Overall Porcelain Punishment Level
